Maybe this youtube video will help:
The mother's experience of childbirth gets a lot more coverage, naturally. She needs to prepare for the most painful experience of her life, so understandably gets all the attention! But the role of the birth partner should not be understated - it's an emotional journey for everyone involved...
For context, a bit about me: I consider myself a typical man - I'm not particularly squeamish (for example, I enjoy the gratuitous gore in Game of Thrones), and I'm rationally sensitive but not overly empathetic (I don't cry often, and actually quite enjoy sad films). Yet these character traits were to be challenged dramatically.
The Labour certainly was a difficult experience for us both - Science Mum was (of course) absolutely amazing. It must have taken tremendous amounts of focus and inner strength to overcome the pain over a gruelling 60 hour Labour.
For Science Dad, the challenges weren't physical (I actually think I cope with those better) - they were emotional and psychological. There were probably about 1200 contractions from start to finish, and I quickly ran out of creative ways to keep relaxed and positive through each one. The motivational cliches soon become irritating, especially when no progress is apparent. Add to that the vomiting, the screaming, 3 days without sleep. I honestly can't remember how we got through it.
More than that, it was simply unbearable to see Science Mum in pain. I never realised how much it would affect me. It was certainly far easier to watch the business end being stretched beyond recognition than look her in the eye during the contractions. In my front-row seat, I could see the progress, but it was incredibly slow and gradual with each contraction (maybe a millimetre every 5 minutes, and sometimes the progress seemed to be reversing). After 3 days the end still seemed far away. When I looked at Science Mum, I could see the hope in her eyes: hope that it would soon be over, that she was going to make it after all, that soon she would be holding Science Baby. Seeing her like this brought to my eyes. She was utterly exhausted, and she had no idea what how it was progressing - but she kept on pushing with all her might. All I could do was wipe my tears and smile back at her. I was so proud!
Eventually, Science Baby was born. Healthy, happy, and absolutely beautiful.
To all dads out there - there's really nothing that can prepare you for the experience. An emotional rollercoaster with highs and lows greater than any you've ever felt, and moments that you'll never forget like seeing your baby's face for the first the, except it's dangling out of a teeny tiny hole and taking it's first ever breaths and with a furrowed brow that's saying "wtf was that?! put me back in!"
A few days after the birth I was up at 3am watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with my nocturnal daughter. And I cried.
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